Yanno. I was gonna go all informational about today but decided...naw. I'mma stick to my usual snark. Yep. It’s that time of year. Pumpkins. Apple Cider. Candied
Apples. The turning of the leaves. Sweaters. Crumb snatchers at your front door
expecting candy. Some of them big enough,
and old enough, to have stopped darkening doors 20 years ago. And the real
adults. Oh boy, the real adults. The ones at the parties who get beyond loose
after having been a wet blanket all year. You know the kind I mean. The same
folk at the holiday office parties. The tightly-wound chicks who can’t wait to
don the Sexy Anything costumes for Halloween. Pirate. Nurse. Mermaid. Bus
Driver. Dog Catcher. School Teacher. On and on. And then you got the dudes who
think it’s the time to release their inner drunken juice pig. Their costumes? Usually
themselves with a $1 mask and fueled with ½ a keg of beer. Probably orange.
Personally, I wasn’t that much into candy. I wanted spiced
wafer cookies. Piles of spiced wafer cookies. Irwin’s. Yum. To this day,
nothing says Fall or Halloween like spiced wafers.
So, however you get your ghoul on, please do it
appropriately (no blackface, redface, yellowface, etc. I’ll make it simply.
Just no one’s ethnicity as a costume. OK? And don’t pout. Those exclusions
leave a ton of other things to be) and safely.
Happy Halloween!
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