Monday, October 31, 2016
Yanno. I was gonna go all informational about today but decided...naw. I'mma stick to my usual snark. Yep. It’s that time of year. Pumpkins. Apple Cider. Candied Apples. The turning of the leaves. Sweaters. Crumb snatchers at your front door expecting candy. Some of them big enough, and old enough, to have stopped darkening doors 20 years ago. And the real adults. Oh boy, the real adults. The ones at the parties who get beyond loose after having been a wet blanket all year. You know the kind I mean. The same folk at the holiday office parties. The tightly-wound chicks who can’t wait to don the Sexy Anything costumes for Halloween. Pirate. Nurse. Mermaid. Bus Driver. Dog Catcher. School Teacher. On and on. And then you got the dudes who think it’s the time to release their inner drunken juice pig. Their costumes? Usually themselves with a $1 mask and fueled with ½ a keg of beer. Probably orange.
Personally, I wasn’t that much into candy. I wanted spiced wafer cookies. Piles of spiced wafer cookies. Irwin’s. Yum. To this day, nothing says Fall or Halloween like spiced wafers.
So, however you get your ghoul on, please do it appropriately (no blackface, redface, yellowface, etc. I’ll make it simply. Just no one’s ethnicity as a costume. OK? And don’t pout. Those exclusions leave a ton of other things to be) and safely.