EYE OF THE BEHOLDER QUESTIONS

 

How do you pick books for your TBR pile? If you are influenced by the visual, do pretty people posed on the cover catch you? Or are you hooked by the blurb and log line? Does the description of the heroine in a romance book affect your interest in the story? Do you have preferences in appearance? If you can’t place yourself in her shoes, will you stop reading the story? What if the heroine is not the same ethnic group as you, would you stop reading the book? Would you even select a book if the heroine on the cover does not have physical attributes to which you can relate or find attractive?

Yep, these are what I call EYE OF THE BEHOLDER questions. And guess what? I use them to choose my reading material. But I use it based on the HERO in the book. As in a previous post the hero can have any attributes but if he’s a BETA, I’m hooked. You know the type: caring, sensitive and will beat down his enemy for you in a heartbeat.

Do you have a list of EYE OF THE BEHOLDER QUESTIONS? If not feel free to use mine.

Hook up or real date. Which one do you prefer?

(This post is gender neutral. Insert whatever gender suits your situation.)

Are you part of the hook up culture? I am not but then again I am waaaaay beyond being part of any kind of culture. I am an advocate of the actual dating experience though. I have observed amongst the young’uns that dating is passé. Such a shame. Hate to break it to you but spending time with people, not FBing them or tweeting them, teaches one how to read facial expressions, body language and hones the skill needed to detect if words being said match the visual being presented. All of that is missing in the hook up. You'll probably say that's what a hook up is about. True, but it looks like a cheerless means to an end. Dating used to be where you tested your appeal, your rap, your swagger. Where do you test that now if you don't date? I'd really like to know. I have a few questions about the hook up. Is it solely for sex? How do you arrange one? Don't tell me. Let me guess I’m sure it involves a cellphone and texting. God forbid should anyone actually talk to each other face-to-face. Ladies, you mean to tell me that a guy who has no social skills other than opposable thumbs can get in your pants? Whoa! I weep for humanity. You can be had for a Happy Meal. No wait not even that if a hook up is purely for sex. And gentlemen, you don’t mind spending time (minutes) with a chick that dispenses herself like the contents of a gumball machine because you were able to punch her digits? How do you cultivate real social skills or have anything lasting if your ability to relate has gotten watered down to texting the endearing and heart-warming question: SUP? C’mon people are you that nonchalant? No matter how cerebral and detached you want to remain, feelings are going to creep in when you are making the beast with two backs on a regular basis. The only person capable of being somewhat detached would be a hooker because it’s his/her JOB not a hobby.

I have no illusions about dating. It can be a train wreck or a treat. However I like that uncertainty. I also like that the guy takes the time to ask me out, suggests dinner and then makes the reservation. I like the whole build up to the date: primping in the bathroom, picking out that perfect outfit, dancing to my favorite music while I get ready, etc. It’s an occasion. Plus, when my guy arrives he looks sharp: smelling good, looking good, every inch the gentleman. He has made an EFFORT to get my interest. And when I refer to my interest it encompasses my presence, my time, my friendship and eventually me. He could be frontin’ but I’ll find out. Yes, I know it can go awry. Hell, anything can go awry. Even the foolproof, no-strings attached hook-up can go awry. But Lord have mercy if you are a sure thing, there is no mystery, no chase, no sizzle. You become the person who gets called on Saturday morning at 2am because it’s known that you are available “to hook up.” It makes no difference if a person knocks on your door or punches your number, a booty call is a booty call. No amount of technology can change that fact.

That’s why I asked if the hook-up is solely about getting off, because if it is, don’t bother making that call. Cut out the middle man all together. Stay home, watch porn and go crazy with yourself. For tightwads, the timid, the socially awkward or the lazy, it’s the cheapest, safest, sure thing around.

Incessant cellphone use versus incessant self-abuse. Are they the same?

Let’s just get it out there. I have a cell. It is the only phone I have now which makes me crazy. I prefer landlines and will get one again when I can. On the east coast when that earthquake happened a couple of years ago, phone towers which service cells were knocked out. So cell users had no phone service. Half the landlines still had service. Yes! Give me a landline. Please. So when all returns to normal in my life I will be getting a landline. Probably a princess for the bedroom, a wall phone for the kitchen and a good old black desk phone for the hall that looks like something Bruce Wayne used in the 1960s. Oh. I’ll keep the cell for back up. I know. I’m weird. I do not hold conversations on my cell. If I do, I keep exchanges short and sweet. I do not play games on it or surf the net or update my Facebook status. I do not text unless necessary. I don’t need a phone to entertain me. My computer is separate from my phone. TV watching is separate from my phone. I like a large screen on which to watch things not a small screen. Looking at TV on a phone is devolution to me. I don't want anything Wi-Fi that close to my head all the time. Plus, people put their entire freakin' lives on these toys and then when they lose it or it gets stolen, they lose their minds. I do not want that kind of attachment to an inanimate object.

My take on cellphone use? It is a type of incessant masturbation. Really examine how, why and when you use it. Do you use it when you are bored? How long can you go without using it during the day? Do you think about using it? And when you do use it, do you get lost in the feeling and lose track of time? And first and foremost, does it feel good to ya? Have you been diagnosed with “carpel tunnel syndrome” or some other sort of ligament problem connected to your hand?  If you said “yes” to any or all of these questions, you may suffer from cellphone rubout. I think incessant cellphone use has replaced sex. So much for technological advancement.

Happy New Year!

Good Day, Evening, Night and Happy New Year to all who have been reading my blog. I hope you have made it through 2012 intact and sane. I wish you all the very best in 2013 and I implore you that if you have any dreams that you want to make come true, go for them in the coming year. This New Year’s eve, take care of yourself and others and have tons of fun whatever you do. If you are staying in, grab a book. In 2013, read a cross section of romance books. Get out of your rut. Get out of your comfort zone and reach for the work of an author of which you have never heard. Give a newbie a break. Give your mind something else to ponder. When you buy your weekly, monthly or quarterly stash of books, include at least one new author. You may be pleasantly surprised. Years ago that’s how I discovered “A Knight in Shining Armor” by Jude Deveraux and was never sorry. Have a great holiday and I’ll see you next year.    

COME ONE! COME ALL!

My publisher EXTASY BOOKS is having a Christmas party and they want you there!

PLACE: http://www.extasychat

TIME:DECEMBER 15th, 9 A. M. to MIDNIGHT (PST), 2012

SEE YOU THERE. DROP BY. WIN PRIZES. HAVE FUN.

What does 12-21-12 or "the end" mean to you?

Much has been spoken of the end of the world happening on 12-21-12. First of all, let me add my two cents. It ain’t happening. Sorry to disappoint the preppers but the 22^nd will dawn, intact. People will poke their heads out of their bunkers and proceed to shop like mad for Christmas with money they don’t have, for crap they don’t need, for people who won’t appreciate it. That I do believe. Save the crates of tuna fish for another time or better yet donate them to a local food pantry. National hunger is the real disaster. Retailers are not going to let the reported demise of the planet mess with their bottom line during the biggest selling time of the year. So get a grip.

I do believe that the way in which we have been experiencing the world is changing or is in the beginning of a change. For as long as I could remember, the kind of world in which I’ve been living has penalized a person in some way for being different. If a person doesn’t fit a prescribed mold, that person is usually ridiculed and/or ostracized. The rule has been: Be like everybody else, even if it harms you and everything will be fine, just shut up and drink the kool-aid.

So my take on the “the end” is that people are rebelling. They are waking up and being themselves. No more conformity to please others. Freedom is a wonderful thing. Truth is a wonderful thing. Both are powerful and transformational. Those same absolutes make the characters in romance books appealing too. The people in these stories do consider others but do not live by others’ leave. They live their life on their terms.

That’s my goal and New Year’s resolution. I can hear the words of my mom, grandmom and grandpop as I write this:

“Never strive to fit in. Never settle for less. Strive to make your mark. Fashion your own fit.”

Happy New World to you!  

Romance books, birth control and disease (World AIDS Day)

AIDS is a word that you don’t come across much in romance novels. The words protection or contraceptives are not seen a lot in their plots either. In the world of romance and erotica, the introduction of birth control and protection breaks the flow of the sex scene. Or so I have been told. Their presence ruins the fantasy of unbridled, uninhibited boinking sought by readers. I suppose if the trappings are used, readers don’t want to read it. Swallowing that pill, inserting that diaphragm or rolling on that condom is too real and unromantic. For many the images of these duties have no place in romance fiction.

My characters use birth control and make it sexy, fun and not intrusive to the story line. Is it the romance industry’s job to sheath every male character’s member or pump every female character’s orifice with spermicide to insure against disease and offspring? Certainly not. Romance’s aim is not to turn off the audience or to preach. Its aim is to turn the readers on and to entertain them. Since tons of readers' real sex lives are influenced by the stories-du-jour (e. g. E. L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey series), maybe more stories involving AIDS, other STDs and/or unwanted pregnancies would satisfy a  sector of the audience that needs to find something both sexy and sexually informative to read.

Honor World AIDS day on December 1st.